Fragile Soul

B”H

Aseret B’Teves – the tenth of Teves

a minor fast day on the Hebrew calendar

Yearning for a connection, beyond the panorama of my assimilated life, so unlike my ancestors from Europe, many who grew up in the shtetl. An insulated environment, sheltered from the influence of the surrounding peoples, who eventually turned, for the most part, against their fellow neighbors – the divide between Jew and gentile, during the antisemitic climate that reached its peak during WW2. The Shoah, also known as the Holocaust, was the tipping point between right and wrong, good and evil, friend and foe, exposing the hidden intentions of the hearts of millions.

My forebearers clung to G-d, Torah, and their sense of yiddishkeit (things Jewish). How can I walk in their shoes? Modern values clash with the sense of propriety that is still honored amongst Orthodox Jews around the world. The television, Internet, and Hollywood compete with the instititions, traditions, and way of life of a Jew. There is a tenuous line that is drawn in the sands of time across the generations. How shall I walk?

How I occupied my time in my younger years is no longer kosher (fit). Like clothes out grown, favorite pastimes are cast aside, in favor of time-honored traditions that are the building blocks of a life of sanctity. Yet, the call to a high set of morals is still met with wavering and hesitation on my part, even fifteen years after I began this journey. A journey back in time to the shtetls of my great grand parents, and great great grand parents. That is where I find solace.